RECOVERING CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES – PART TWO
Okay! Beloved friends, once again, I’m glad to come on air to meet you. We thank GOD that HE has been speaking to us.
I believe you listened to the first part of this message. We’ll take the second part today. And as you proceed to listen, GOD will bless you abundantly.
Our topic remains, Recovering Christian Marriages.
RECOVERING CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES
In our last message we considered reasons for marriage; invariably, and we went on to mention the very reasons for which GOD instituted marriages. We did say that GOD put it up for companionship, for friendship, for accomplishment, for intimate sharing, for fellowship, for decent sex, for procreation and divine destiny.
Today, we will proceed to another requirement in having success in marriage – how we can recover our Christian marriages. And that is, understanding our spouses: understanding your spouse – both man and woman. Have an understanding of your spouse. Knowledge is power. And of course that is knowledge that is put into practice. The knowledge of who your spouse is will help you to adapt, to live together with him.
Remember that we have established that, family harmony hinges on understanding your spouse.
Let us pray.
Heavenly FATHER the FATHER of our LORD JESUS, as we continue on this topic, we pray that the Spirit of The LORD will give us understanding; the Spirit of the LORD will open her heart and enable us drop age-old mindset that has not worked; and give us a new insight into ways we can do things better, to the glory of GOD…in JESUS Mighty Name we have prayed. Amen!
Understanding our spouse.
Again we want to read from Genesis 2:18
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE.
First, let’s take the man.
Understanding the man.
i. The man has more physical strength. You should understand that GOD created man to have more physical strength. There may be variations to this. There may be variations to this. There are also women who have physical strength; but generally, the man is created to have more physical strength than the woman.
ii. Secondly, man is more aggressive and physically active. They are designed as hunters to conquer and to win. They are designed as hunters to conquer and to win.
iii. They have higher metabolic rate. They burn more energy faster than women.
There may be variations, especially in our time; we have seen women who beat up their husband. They have more physical strength. But we are talking in terms of generality.
iv. Men think with the left side of the brain, according to studies in biology. They are logical in their reasoning. Men are more logical in their reasoning.
v. Men also have higher sex drive, generally. We have seen violence in our time. But generally men are created to have higher sex drive. Men are more physically aroused by visual stimuli: they are more drawn to what they can see.
- And lastly, men are designed for leadership roles. Men are designed for leadership roles.
The reason why we are making these statements is for a woman to understand the man. When you have understanding, you can then know how to relate.
Understanding a woman
i. Women have verbal strength or power than men. They are designed for communication. They are auditors and narrators. No man can compare with them in verbal strength or power.
And this is one of the reasons why men resort to violence when they cannot match the verbal strength or power: they resort to beating and violence to make up, which is not right. We should be able to understand that they have more verbal strength and power. And when they are in that mode they are at their best.
ii. Secondly, the woman is more security-conscious. They need spiritual, physical and financial security. They require security.
iii. Thirdly, women are intuitive and emotional. Biology said that they use the right side of the brain to think. If you don’t listen to your wife’s advice, you lose 50% of the chances of success. That’s why you should understand them.
iv. Women live longer than men on the average, perhaps because they don’t wear themselves out like men with activities. They develop fewer wrinkles than men develop.
v. Women have great endurance. They have great endurance. They have great endurance. They endure so much. And no wonder some men capitalize on that. I know that most women will say, but we are seeing a change, wherein now the domestic violence results to death which is not right.
v. Women can be jealous. They won’t like for others to share their husbands with them.
And an epidemic has called into our nation, and it seems that it’s being accepted. But this is wrong: what they call side chick. Side chick – the language of the devil, the language of the enemy. Why should someone be in marriage and have side chicks as it were a distraction bringing stress to the family?
vi. Most women have the tendency to be slower with time management. That’s another of the characteristics of women. And men should understand this: that they have the tendency to be slower with time management. They have greater capacity to manage details than men can be handled with little bit of organization. Little bit of organization.
Now let me proceed to mention the needs of men and the needs of women, and we’ll call it off today.
a. Men need sexual fulfillment. Spouses should understand that. Men need recreational companionship.
b. They need recreational companionship. They need people who walk through with them on things they like.
c. Men need an attractive spouse. They need an attractive spouse. That’s why we encourage women to, using the modern language, package yourself – sell yourself deliberately to your husband. Beware of your attire. And refuse to get old quickly.
d. Men also need admiration. They need someone who will admire them: someone who’ll make them a hero, someone who will believe that they are the best and bring out the best, encourage the best they do.
e. Lastly in this, men need family support. They need one who will support their family. They need one who will accept their family members: incorporate them – the family.
Let’s also mention the needs of women
a. Women need affection. They need to be loved. They need to be accepted. They need to be recognized. These are things men ought to cultivate.
b. Women need conversation. They need someone that will converse with them, listen to them, and talk with them.
c. Women need someone who is honest and open, someone who’s sincere about dealings, and open; and that of course brings trust.
d. Women need financial support.
e. They also need family commitment: family commitment – someone who’ll also have commitment towards their own family. They also need family support. Family support.
Because of our time will stop here today.
If we understand these: the need of men, the need of women, the characteristics of men, the characteristics of women, and we work on them and we know this peculiarities, we realize that we all need to be loved, we all need to be recognized, we all need to be accepted; that true love focuses more on the person than on yourself.
We realize that love heals, love restores, love delivers – and our marriages will be stable. And when we pass through the euphoric emotional beginning, we come to another level where we are stabilized: where we are conscious that we have entered into a permanent relationship which only death can resolve.
Men and brethren, to love is a choice. It’s a choice we must make in order to keep our marriages strong, to recover the Christian marriage. And I do pray and ask that GOD will help us to reenact true love, and focus on our spouses, and then bring the necessary healing required for our marriages to be stable – and we will not enter into the problems of our time wherein separation, divorce have become the order of the day.
We see marriages that last. Our fathers married for long. But in recent time there is a breakdown.
GOD will deliver us. GOD will heal our marriages. GOD will give us the necessary solution to the problems we are facing in our marriage…in the Mighty Name of JESUS CHRIST.
Let us Pray.
Heavenly FATHER, I pray as YOUR servant today for healing, for stability, for understanding, in our Christian marriages, that we, O GOD, we resist the importation from the West that is a distortion to the divine plan. I pray, O GOD, that as we follow the pattern of GOD – the guideline of GOD, we will make a success of our union and bring glory to GOD…in JESUS Mighty Name we have prayed. Amen!